Personal Discovery: Change your Relationship with Others Part 4

Family relationships are particularly complicated. We have all the same complications of a relationship but often without the possibility of separation when things go badly. Often, our responsibilities towards our family need to take precedence over our personal feelings and family will not necessarily feel the need to change and work towards a better relationship with you. Therefore, we come back to the principle of choosing our battles wisely. There are times when you need to submit and times when you need to stand for your feelings. To find the wisdom to know the difference, we must first understand ourselves and then take the time to understand and love the members of our family. It is always better to tread carefully among family relationships and to be respectful to the other members.

Romantic relationships can also be complicated. There are 5 main types of these relationships, though some relationships have elements from multiple types with varying degrees of intensity:

• Love – a deep physical and emotional attachment

• Attraction – a physical attachment often stemming from a emotional attachment; milder and often a precursor to love

• Lust – a purely physical attachment

• Platonic – a purely emotional attachment

• Pure Gain – neither physical nor emotional attachment; attachment for other reasons

What can be said about love relationships has filled many books and will not be discussed too much in depth here. What is important here though is to look into your own understanding of yourself and be realistic. Figure out what you need in your life, what you can handle in your life, and what you are really looking for. Then, match it. If you are looking for a Lust relationship, then find someone else looking for that. If you are looking for just a Platonic relationship, then find someone who doesn’t want more than that. Many conflicts stem from people looking for different types of love relationship trying to make something work but in the end, neither person is satisfied.

Our relationships with other people succeed easier when we have a good understanding and relationship with ourselves. It is through an acceptance of ourselves that we can begin to accept another person fully. This makes for successful relationships.