All of my writing is personal, in the sense that every piece of writing I do has my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, biases, experiences, and creativity. Some of my writing, however, is more personal than others. “Generations,” published by Native Skin back in August 2022, speaks about my own life, my family, and my feelings of alienation from my family’s past.
So many times, it’s easy to think that everyone can trace their past through the generations. When war, immigration, lack of records, and a closed-mouth family culture happen, though, it can be hard to reach more than a generation or two back, if that. When I think about my broken connection from the line of my ancestors, it feels like I have lost a very essential part of my identity as well, especially as a second-generation Chinese American. I have also had many discussions over the years with my husband regarding memory, both individual memory and collective memory. Coupled with my recent thoughts when I’m spending time with daughter of how much she will retain of our time together, “Generations” took form. It started off as an experiment using the zuihitsu poetry style, one of the prompts during the 2021 Poetry Marathon. It evolved over multiple iterations into a more creative non-fiction piece, though it still retained much of its original styling. I’m glad it found its place in Native Skin.
To be honest, I’m scared to put it out in public because of how personal it is. I hope you will be gentle with it and with me.